So I finally came to the conclusion that it's time to give up meat. Not for any moral, ethical, or even financial reasons. I just can't digest it. It makes me really sick, and right now I can't afford to be sick. So as a last hurrah, I bought a summer sausage. I don't know why. It's just a little one, because they're so damn expensive.
I was told that if you hit people with a summer sausage, it doesn't leave marks. *Rubs bruise* They lie.