Good evening, ladies and...well, for this post, probably just the ladies. Welcome to a moment I like to call:
Tonight we will dissect the Kisses of Doctor Who: What, If Anything, Do They Mean? This is analyzed in light of the recent spoilers for the new Christmas special. I allude to them, so be forewarned, but if you want to see what they are, exactly, check my flist. It's a veritable bonanza of squee. Spoilers abound!
Exhibit A: Nine and Rose/Bad Wolf
Episode: The Parting of the Ways
The Squee: Aside from it being the Doctor and Rose (or mostly Rose, partially the Heart of the TARDIS), perhaps it was the lead-up, the only time in history that a pun has ever inspired an "awww" reaction:
Bad Wolf Rose: I can see everything. All that is, all that was...
*Doctor is watching her, look on his face one that of shock and amazement as he realizes what she's describing sounds familiar...*
Rose: ...all that ever could be...
Doctor: *On his feet, still staring at her in awe* That's what I see! All the time! *Slow smile spreading on his face* But doesn't it drive you mad?
Rose: My head...
Doctor: Come here.
Rose: It's killing me...
Doctor: *Gentle smile* I think you need a doctor. *Looks at her for a moment, before leaning down to kiss her.*
The Sanity: There is nothing but pure squee here. You can make all the excuses you want that it was all about getting the time vortex back out of Rose, but the build-up, the feeling of having someone who understands, and the Doctor's ultimate sacrifice for Rose? That's all for us, baby.
Exhibit B: Ten and Cassandra (Possessing Rose)
Episode: New Earth
The Squee: It's really, really hot to see anyone Rose shaped snog the Doctor, even if you know, intellectually, it isn't her. Also, the fact that the Doctor didn't seem nearly as shocked as you'd imagine he'd be if Rose snogged him out of the blue in a public place, which may imply this isn't as random an event for him as one would imagine...
The Sanity: Alas, it really wasn't Rose kissing the Doctor, although icon makers have no trouble disregarding this. The implications of it are nice, but there's something skeevy about Cassandra using Rose's body to mack on her man.
Exhibit C: Ten and Reinette/Madame de Pompadour
Episode: The Girl in the Fireplace
The Squee: Very little. Shippers rationalize it that she kissed him, that he was more fangirling than genuinely in love, or are just glad that whatever they had was blissfully short lived.
The Sanity: The writer, Steve Moffat, described the episode as a love story, so we got to face facts that it was real, like it or not.
Exhibit D: Ten and Rose
Episode: The Impossible Planet
The Squee: Already an arc where the Doctor and Rose seem at their closest, when the Doctor is going down to the surface of the planet perched precariously at the edge of a black hole, Rose wishes him luck by kissing his be-helmeted forehead, at once a casual move and a significant one.
The Sanity: There was a realistic chance that he would die. There was an equally realistic chance that they would be stuck here together forever. Sobering stuff, but not enough to kill the squee.
Exhibit E: Ten and Martha
Episode: Smith and Jones
The Squee: Shifting gears into a Doctor/Martha mode (not my ship, but bear with me), pretty much the first thing the Doctor did when he met Martha was snog her. Not many companions can say that.
The Sanity: It was a genetic transfer, so that he could fool the Judoon, and, later, save his own life.
(Image Note: for S3 images I went to the BBC, because I don't have S3. The image below this one is also from the Beeb, since I was already there and didn't want to load the ep. Anyway, they didn't have a pic of the kisses, so I went with a couply one.)
Exhibit F: John Smith and Joan Redfern
Episode: Human Nature and Family of Blood
The Squee: Joan really did sort of rock, and you had to feel for the woman and her doomed love for the human alter ego of the Doctor. If just because as Doctor/Rose shippers, we have a thing for doomed romance.
The Sanity: As I said, it was not really Ten, but his human alter ego, a tragic normal man cursed to turn back into a lonely and frightening alien, and to lose his love.
Exhibit G: Ten and Astrid
Episode: Voyage of the Damned
The Squee: The song, which, as I said, take a look at my flist if you really want to know. Snog or not, that's a "kiss off" song.
The Sanity: Honestly, we don't know yet, but we're pretty sure it'll be there.
BONUS EXHIBIT: Ten and Rose
The Squee: Not a kiss, but ROSE SAID SHE LOVED HIM, and we're about 99.8% sure he was about to say it back. I repeat: SHE SAID IT.
The Sanity: Seen Doomsday lately? Not really conductive to sanity, I tell you what. Okay, I'll say it: it was the end. BUT SHE SAID IT. Can't take that from us.
Conclusion: Kisses from Ten, at least, seem to be a dime a dozen. He hands them out like candy. The one person he didn't properly snog on camera is the one person that we have proof that he loved. Therefore, a kiss from Ten is like a greeting card: nice to get, but ultimately not worth much.