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22 October 2009 @ 05:35 pm
TV in Haiku: Special Gundam 00 Edition  
So I started doing Gundam 00 in Haiku. Why? Partially to try to make escapistism smile, partially because it's nice to be inspired again.

For this to work, you have to use the pronunciation of "Celestial" with three syllables instead of four (Sell-EST-yal, instead of Sell-EST-ee-all). Also, 00 = "Double-Oh". I was constantly stymied by the long-ass character and place names, BTW. And yes, I sort of take some liberties with what constitutes a "haiku", pretty much only following the 5-7-5 rule. That's how I roll. If I failed in that, DEAL WITH IT! I mean, tell mean and I'll see if I can fix it.

Needless to say, spoilers abound. Although none of these make any goddamn sense unless you've seen G00.


Season One

Episode 1

Celestial Being
Appears in kickass Gundams
Ruins Patrick's day

Episode 2

Everyone wonders
What's with Celestial Being?
Early eps are boring

Episode 3

Setsuna beats Graham
Celestial Being attacks
More of the same stuff

Episode 4

Marina useless
Shirin and Soma are hot
Hooray for boobies!

Episode 5

Day in the spotlight
For Allelujah this time
Don't get used to it

Episode 6

More Marina crap
Fucking Ali introduced
Setsuna's stupid

Episode 7

Setsuna's stupid
I know I said that last time
It bears repeating

Episode 8

More stupidity
Setsuna and Marina
Should not ever breed

Episode 9

Nadleeh is revealed
Tieria not happy
Lyle's in the intro

Episode 10

Allelujah caught
He seems really good at that
Halle chokes a bitch

Episode 11

More Alle spotlight
Like he's actually a
Real main character

Episode 12

Azadistan sucks
But just look at their ruler
It only makes sense

Episode 13

There is someone else
Setsuna faces Ali
Rescues the hostage

Episode 14

The trap has been set
Celestial Being still go
Finally! Drama!

Episode 15

Looks bad for Meisters
They're getting their asses kicked
Help from new Gundams

Episode 16

Trinities revealed
They're the crazy new pilots
But it's a clip show

Episode 17

Trinities seem off
Meisters don't want to trust them
I blame all the red

Episode 18

Nena is a bitch
Randomly plays up wedding
Louise is broken

Episode 19

Battle against Thrones
Veda hacked, which is not good
Past secrets revealed

Episode 20

Ribbons finds Veda
Wang Liu-Mei a two-faced bitch
Thrones up to no good

Episode 21

Veda is taken
Tieria freezes up
Lockon loses eye

Episode 22

Begin final arc
Alejandro gives Meisters
The edge they needed

Episode 23

Lockon won't stay put
Insists on getting revenge
Only dies trying

Episode 24

The show must go on
Even with Lockon gone now
Time for final fight

Episode 25

Lots of stuff happens
Not conductive to haiku
Good guys win, okay?

Season 2

Episode 1

It's the grand return
Celestial Being is back
So much promise here!

Episode 2

Lyle is recruited
We need Lockon sexiness
And FUCKING RIBBONS

Episode 3

Save Allelujah!
And then we can forget him
But hey, I warned you

Episode 4

Marina is back
Can't just let her die, can we?
That'd be too easy

Episode 5

Saji's big screw-up
Tieria smacks him good
A-LAWS push forward

Episode 6

Fucking Ali lived!
Louise has gone crazycakes
Mr. Grahamshido

Episode 7

Alle centric ep
This is the last one ever
It's also boring

Episode 8

Tieria's twin
Tells him of his true nature
Gets him in a dress

Episode 9

Fight against Ali
Still pissed about Lockon's death
The A-LAWS attack

Episode 10

New Gundam toys shown
Lyle meets Anew, hits it off
Katharon hit bad

Episode 11

Memento Mori
Is the Meister's new target
Using new Gundams

Episode 12

00 Riser
Is Sparkly Jesus Gundam
Ribbons wants it bad

Episode 13

More Innovators
Memento Mori goes down
When Lyle does trench run

Episode 14

Lyle is still a spy
Although everyone knows
Coup d'etat in works

Episode 15

Setsuna injured
Dreams of Neil, finds Marina
Coup d'etat force moves

Episode 16

A-LAWS kill people
That are being held hostage
Yeah, they are not nice

Episode 17

Elevator shot
Second Memento Mori
Sergei killed by son

Episode 18

A four month time skip
Anew is Innovator
Search for Veda starts

Episode 19

Regene traitor
Anew snaps; attacks CB
Liu-Mei gets shot down

Episode 20

Anew still crazy
Tries to steal the 00
Gets killed; Lyle breaks down

Episode 21

Liu-Mei still alive
Turns down help but she offers
Veda coordinates

Episode 22

Another Graham fight
Regene shoots Ribbons, yay!
Kati now good guy

Episode 23

Ribbons still alive
Kills Regene, only to
Face Tieria

Episode 24

Tieria dead
Or is he? Regene has
One last trick in store

Episode 25
Veda recaptured
Setsuna defeats Ribbons
And Lyle killed Ali
 
 
 
escapistism: 'Sup foo?escapistism on October 23rd, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Pffft... Goo, you so crazy.

My first thought about reading this should not be, "Oh, this would be helpful in canon reviews!"