A Guy Named Goo (aguynamedgoo) wrote,
A Guy Named Goo

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Video Games Are Bad For You

I hate the new Kingdom Hearts game. I really do. I have been stuck on Vexen for about a month and I am ready to call up one of those $3/minute tip lines and see if there's some miracle to beating him. What pisses me off even more is that all of the walkthroughs say "he's not a very hard boss so just use your normal methods". Well, there must be a serious flaw in the normal methods I use, and if there is I can't find it. On top of that, the game doesn't seem to want to follow it's own damn rules. ("You can't break a 0 card that is in use" my ass! This guy breaks my premium 0 cards every other turn.)

People who have been exposed to me playing video games can already tell you I swear more than Yan Valentine on a sugar high. I am also usually just as psychotically, violently gleeful, as the poor employees of several arcades charged with the unfortunate duty of throwing me out for being unable to watch my mouth can attest to. (Tip: screaming "die, bitch!" will just get you a warning at a family fun center, but screaming "die you motherfucking cunt-licker!" while trying to throw yourself and your light gun at the screen will get you a lifetime ban.) But as a rule when I am in this mood I am gleeful and full of positive, sadistic feelings. When I was screaming "you motherfucking, cocksucking, two-ball bitch!" at my GBA and throwing it across the room earlier today, it was not my usual expression of joy. It was a sign that my blood pressure was high enough to trigger a mild stroke. And you know, the amazing thing about this is in every single other aspect of my life (except maybe the online ranting aspect) I am passive to the point of being a pushover, and I never swear in my family's presence.

I should stick to the crane games. I kick ass at them and they are almost zen in the amount of relaxation they provide, plus I go from the guy parents steer their kids far away from to the arcade hero just from crossing the room and being generous with my prizes.
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